“Yes, Hamish?” Sherlock said looking down at the young boy.
The boy looked back with blue eyes.
Sherlock’s breath hitched in his throat. He knelt next to his son and held his shoulders.
“Hamish, your daddy is in a good place. But he’s going to be there for a while.”
“Well…I…I don’t know.” Sherlock hated it. He hated that the accident happened and it was all his fault.
When they were on a case and Sherlock shot at the suspect but the suspect jumped out of the way and John was right behind him. A bullet wound to the chest had John dead within an hour. He died exactly how he thought he would. In Sherlock’s arms.
Hamish didn’t know what happened exactly. Everyone just told him that his daddy was gone and that he wouldn’t be back for a long time. He didn’t understand why. He often blamed himself because that’s what he saw Sherlock doing on a daily basis.
“Did daddy love me?”
Sherlock looked up with worried eyes. He could feel his heart clenching. Hamish won’t remember John very well when he gets older. And it hurts because Sherlock knows exactly how that feels.
“Are you kidding? Your daddy loved you so much! He loved you to the moon and back.”
“Papa, where’s the good place?”
Hamish always had a lot of questions. He was like both his fathers. He was clever like Sherlock and caring and loving like John. But he always asked questions. He needed a logical answer for everything.
Sherlock stood up and picked Hamish up over his head.
“He’s up there.” He said
“Is daddy on a cloud?” Hamish asked
“Yes. Daddy is on a cloud. And if you really believe and you really hope, you’ll be able to see him looking back at you.”
“Did you love daddy?”
Sherlock pulled his son close and kissed his forehead.
“Yes. Yes, I loved your daddy very much.”